He c'n feel her, hands in his hair, holdin' onto his face and fingers smearin' blood over his skin, rough'n'gentle all at th'same time but he's scared, he can't help it. He's fuckin' terrified 'cause it won't stop hurtin', 'cause th'pain won't stop burnin' through him and it ain't supposed t'do that he's either alive and healin' or he's dead, and this in-between, it ain't even close t'right. He can't focus, eyes wide but not seein', Kate's just a blur of blonde hair'n'blue eyes, talkin' to him but it don't matter 'cause he can't understand her anyway.

But it's stoppin', now, th'pain is - it's still there but it's far away, somewhere else, an' Kate's face is dissolvin' in front of him into another face one he knows well, too damn well, seen it in his dreams and floatin' in th'water after th'sickle went through his throat.

Hack Scudder smiles at him, for a moment, and Kate's hands aren't on him no more they're big, work-rough, his father's hands as his father smiles at him and says in a way that Ben's gotta obey 'cause he's fallin' too fast to do anythin' else...

Sleep.

And he does. He falls into unconsciousness like a pool, a still blue pool like eyes, like blood, a pool that opens up and welcomes him in even as his body goes limp and his breathing evens out, still too shallow, too hesitant, but where he's gone there's nothing that hurts and maybe there's a smile just touching his split and bleeding lips.