(no subject)

[All dialogue and imagry taken from Carnivale season 1 epsiode 2 "After The Ball Is Over"]

A rifle cocks. Shells spill to the ground, tumbling waterfalls of brass ch-chink ch-chink

click

a soldier moves through a battlefield, bareheaded, cowering through smoke (air tastesmells like cordite, blood, popcorn) bends over a dead body lifts the helmet puts it on. Breathes.

Explosions. Shrapnel. A man in uniform crouching, stalking, waiting. Scents the air. The soldier in the dead man's helmet in the crumbling trenches walks forward (feet crunchslip in blood, bone, dropped ice-creams).

They see the man. He writhes. He is missing an arm and both legs and makes no noise but s h a k e s to the rhythm of the pounding cannonfire.

They cock their weapons, together cl-click cl-click but the man is dead. He writhes because someone is shaking his body. They move closer from either side and they still have not seen each other but they must o they must.

And then there is a bear. Massive, snarling, paws and gaping mouth are covered in blood, gore as it stands up shaking its chains the man in the dead man's helmet sees the red cloth scraps fluttering from its body and the cap on its head with the letters he cannot read and as it strikes out roaring (sounds like bombs, screaming men, laughing children) he knows he knows what he does not want to know-

---

Ben wakes up, breathing hard.

"Oh shi-," he says, choking a little on the words, "Shit." Dreams are gettin' bad, not like they ever been anything like good but now it seems he can't close his eyes without seeing 'em. He can feel his heart beating doubletime and he breathes deep, spittin' out the air like it tastes bad until he hears footsteps.

He looks up, thinks maybe it's Jonesy or another roustie comin' back late drunk but it's not, it's a figure he don't recognize 'till she gets closer and then his heart seizes up a little. It's Apollonia and she's shuffling towards him like her feet don't work right which makes sense because he thinks, dazed in the back of his mind even as he's standing up and backing away a step or two isn't she supposed to be a vegetable?

But then she's reaching out for him and he don't quite know what he's doing when he reaches out too and takes her hand. She's cold, real cold and kinda stiff-like but that don't matter because she's taking a breath like it's the first in her life and looking at him and he can't look away when she says "You're the one."

They stand there for a moment, locked together and then Sofie breaks the stillness of the air screaming "MAMA!" and she goes down hard in his arms like she been shot. Sofie's yelling "MAMA, MAMA!" at the top of her lungs running towards him and he holds Apollonia tight says "Over here! Sofie, she's over here!" but instead of being thankful she's looking at him like he's poison.

"What the hell are you doing?" She's screaming, panicked, slides to a halt next to him and shoves him away frantically, desperate. "Get away from her! Get your hands off her! Don't touch her!" and goddamnit if she hasn't woked the whole fuckin' place because here's Jonsey at the head of a ragtag band of rousties and carnies both, givin' orders. "Get back," he says, limpin' forward, "Everybondy stay back."

Ben don't have a chance to move before the retarded strongman - what's his name? Gabriel - grabs him and hurls him away, hard. Jonesy's talkin' to Sofie in the background, askin' her about her ma but when Ben makes to get up Gabe hits him again, a hard right to his jaw and he goes down.

Two of the rousties, he don't know their names yet pick him up, hold him tight. He gasps a little against the pain because goddamn Gabriel hits hard but then Jonesy's in his face, askin him what the hell happened. He looks past Jonesy, sees Sofie and she's lookin' at him like he done killed her ma himself. "What'd you do to her?" she asks and her voice breaks.

Ben feels guilt twist in his stomach but he didn't do nothing, he didn't, and he knows it. "I was sleepin'," he says, "I woke up. She walked over to me."

But that was the wrong thing to say 'cause now Sofie's lookin' angrier then he's seen before. "She can't walk! She can't even move, everybody know that!"

"I didn't do nothing to her, Sofie," Ben says, still struggling against the two thugs holdin' him, "You gotta believe me, I didn't do-" and then Gabe sinks his left fist into Ben's ribs and his breath comes out of him, hard. It takes him a minute to get it back but when he does he's struggling again, hard. "Let me go, goddamnit," he says, and then Gabe's at him again, pounding his ribs like a slab of meat 'till all he can do is gasp for air.

He barely hears Samson shouting "Let the boy go!" but he hears Ruthie saying "Gabriel, stop," and wrestling him away like he weren't more'n a child. Jonesy's trying to keep everyone quiet but he's angry enough that it ain't workin, and he's not listening as Samson says "I said, let him go."

Jonesy shakes his head, says "Boss, we got a real problem here. Needs some sortin' out," and Ben braces himself for the next punch. But instead Samson's glaring him down, saying "We don't have no sortin' out to do. The kid didn't do nothing wrong. Cut him loose."

There's a long pause where Ben thinks maybe Jonesy's not gonna listen to the dwarf, but finally he turns to the rousties and jerks his head. Ben pulls himself free, still panting, and stumbles a step or two away. Fuck he hurts, but he ain't gonna let them see that and not for the first time he wonders why the fuck he didn't just stay in goddamn Milfay.

Soon enough they're cartin' Apollonia away, back to the trailer, and Samson's givin' orders again. Tells 'em that they're packin' it in the morning, heading south. There's grumbles at this but Samson don't listen and soon enough everyone's headin' back off to their beds.

Ben's heading off himself when Ruthie comes up behind him in her kimono and asks him if he's okay. "I'm fine," he says, spits out 'cause it was her son doin' the beating but she don't listen and grabs his arm instead, sayin' "Let me take a gander," like she's not even hearing the bitter in his voice.

She puts a hand over his face where Gabe got it the first time, makes a noise like a mother hen and says "We gotta get somethin' on that jaw. C'mon."

Without waiting for an answer she moves away and Ben turns back to where his blankets are, under the truck. He don't get more'n a foot though before he hears her voice, "I said come on," and in the end he figures maybe it'll be easier to go with her then put up with her tryin' to drag him. So he follows her to her trailer, lets her open the door only when he steps through-

when he steps through it ain't her trailer anymore.