(no subject)

[ooc: Millitimed to four days before Christmas. Spoilers for episodes 1x02. Most dialogue and imagery property of Carnivale.]

Could be Ben's been spendin' a little more time in his room, maybe, likes it up there where there's less people'n noise. But he can't stay up there forever and he comes down today, shoulders hunched, hands all deep in his pockets and he bellies up to the bar, asks for a coffee.

She gets it for him and he takes it, turns around, makes like he's gonna go settle in a booth 'cept then he sees it.

His door is there, half open, dry smell like dust and dirt floating through and the coffee mug smashes on the ground as Ben takes two big steps, half runnin, and then.

Then he's back, and Ruthie's starin' at him like maybe she thinks Gabe hit him a little too hard but Ben's just lookin' at the sky and the trailers like he ain't never seen 'em in his life.

~

She says something quiet, later, 'bout how he ain't bruisin' or walkin' stiff from the beating and he don't say nothing, just shrugs his shirt down from where she'd walked her fingers over his ribs to check for breaks. After a moment he holds out the photograph, the one from the baggage trailer, asks if she knows him who it is.

Old Hack Scudder's sweetie, she says, after a minute. Says what was her name? Flora.

And then Ben don't say anything past the lump in his throat, and for a moment he ain't even thinkin' 'bout Milliways and all the shit what's happened to him 'cause that confirms it.

She talks about Scudder, a bit, says he was a rummy and sounds wistful, gets a picture to show him and Ben's blood runs cold 'cause he thinks he knows that face When she trails off Ben looks up her, looks at the girl's picture, shrugs a bit and says she's my ma. And then Ruthie's sayin' how that's downright queer but Ben's gettin up to leave because he's puttin' things together in his head and he don't want to stay there no more when he gets a thought, turns and says this - this Scudder, you think he might've been in the war?

Could've been, Ruthie says, real quiet-like and she's not lookin' at him, she's lookin' at the past. Lots of crazy men in the war.

Crazy as mud-bugs on a griddle, she says, and Ben slips out, past Gabriel sittin' on the steps, back to the scuffed dirt under the truck where his blanket is but he knows he ain't gonna be sleepin' because the last thing he wants, last thing he wants is to dream.

'cause now he knows one of the faces, and he knows he's seen Hack Scudder.

(no subject)

[ooc: spoilers for episode Carnivale episode 1x03. Dialogue and imagery property of the show]

They pass through a town called Tipton, few days later, and a mob of people storm Ben 'cause word's gotten around of the girl he done touched and made to walk. In the truck back to Carnivale, Jonesy talkin' bout how he's never seen a thing like that, he feels sick 'cause he knows this ain't gonna be kept low.

And sure enough Samson wants to set him up as a healer, take the people for all the cash they got and Ben wants to say no but he needs money, needs it bad and he'll get a cut of what comes in. So he pretends to heal Ruthie and they go wild and he goes and smokes behind the tent and hates himself a little.

But it's not more'n a day or so later that he's findin' a woman, a woman he saw in his dreams and she's tellin' him that she knows the truth. She knew Hack Scudder and she knows what he can do and she tells him, right before her son comes and throws him out, that there's a price. He's gotta take life to give it and Ben remembers the corn withering, dyin' as the girl ran to her house.

She comes to the show that night 'cause she's dyin' too, like the corn, witherin' with the dust pneumonia and he wants to heal her, goddamn wants 'cause she knows things he's gotta know but she tells him no! and she dies, right there in his arms, and Samson's yellin' at him for almost givin' up the game 'cause Samson don't know what Ben can do.

And that's Tipton, where they're gone the next day, runnin' from the law sure to be hot on their tails.

(no subject)

[ooc: spoilers for episode 1x04. Most dialogue and imagery belongs to the show. Some whitetext at the end.]

The rousties ain't happy. They're talkin' bout how they're headed to Texas, place called Babylon and the stories fly hard. Ben don't listen, much, and then Lodz is sayin' he wants to show him somethin', somethin' to do with Scudder, and even though he hates that boiled egg-eyed sumbitch he listens to 'em, gets a truck and drives 'em out into the dusty foothills where there's shit-all.

Finally he asks how much longer, 'cause he don't wanna be out here longer'n he has to, but all Lodz gives him is some crypic shit 'bout unique opportunities. And damn if Ben ain't goddamn sick of Lodz bein' like that so he slams on the brakes and tells him that if he don't put up right now, he's goin' right back.

But that's when Lodz smiles all weird, says dear me, it's far too late for that and that's when Ben looks in the side mirror and sees the dust comin'.

Black blizzard, dust storm and it's comin' fast, too fast. He says aw, hell, rolls his window up and leans back in the seat as the truck rocks, first gusts of wind slamming into it and makin' the world go brown with the dust.

Have to wait this bastard out,, Ben says, shakin' his head a bit 'cause damn but he should have seen that comin'. Lodz smiles in that weird way he has and says in my experience, darkness often yields the brightest light but Ben don't know what the hells that's supposed to mean so he ignores it.

That's swell, Lodz, he says, leans back and scrunches his knees up, tries to get comfortable. Me, I'm gonna get some shuteye right about now.

Lodz chuckles, a bit, but he resolutely screws his eyes shut and listens to the shhing of the wind, lets it pick him up and hurl him down into sleep.

~

When he finally wakes the storm's still ragin', and it takes him a second to remember everything. Takes him another second 'fore he realizes what's wrong, that Lodz is gone and he shakes his head, mutters loony sumbitch and thinks for a moment about leavin' him to rot.

But he's blind and he's a headliner and Samson'll kill him if he comes back without the old man, so he finds an oily rag under one of the seats, presses it to his face, and opens the door.

The storm screams all around him. He can barely see, squinting through a haze of dust, rag's barely helpin' and it's in his lungs, his eyes, his nose, coating him. He stumbles sideways as the wind hits him, hard and screaming, and as lightning flashes he almost trips over the body of a lamb.

That's good, though, he thinks vaguely, means a barn or somethin' nearby and that's when he sees the outline of the house, stumbles over and clings to the corner. He feels his way along, rag doin' nothing now and he's choking on the dust, can't hardly breathe when he finds the doorhandle and flings himself into the house.

Lodz is there. He's sittin' in a chair and he's got a fire going and Ben feels rage all buildin' up in him, nice and slow 'cause he's spittin' dirt 'cause of Lodz and he don't even have the decency to explain.

What the hell is goin' on, he asks, still shakin' from trying to push through the winds, hating the taste of dust on his tongue. Lodz just smiles and says welcome and that's when Ben loses it.

He paces like a goddamn wild thing, hands all fisted and voice high and he says brought me out here for what, huh? Kicks a chair over, feels it splinter under his feet and there's a moment of triumph for that before the rage comes back and he says nothing! I almost got dead out there!

Lodz doesn't react, just shrugs and You were not in any real danger. I think we both know that. Somehow that's worse'n if he'd shouted back and Ben wants to slug him right then and there.

I damn near died, he says, but he's calming, a bit, anger's no good 'cause he ain't gonna hit a blind man. Lodz is saying somethin' that he ain't really paying attention to, then this storm. It's what they call a black blizzard, no?

That's the name they give it, Ben says, cautious-like 'cause he don't know where Lodz is goin' with this.

The topsoil of ten thousand farms, much like your own. Lodz is gettin' all poetical now but that ain't what makes Ben's shoulders hunch, it's the thought of his farm, all dry dust 'n dead crops and his ma, choking, dying. Lend me your hand, boy, Lodz says and maybe Ben ain't quiet thinkin' 'cause he offers it.

Lodz holds it, and for a moment Ben can hear his ma. Coughing, choking, gasping stay away, you filth as she writhed and seized. Then Lodz is leaning in close and he says real soft into Ben's ear it killed your mother.

Ben pulls back, a bit, 'cause Lodz couldn't know that was what he was thinkin' but somehow he did. What's it to you, he says, and Lodz leans close again, growls low she drowned in it.

Now Ben's tryin' to pull away, hard but Lodz got a grip like goddamn steel and he can't. Frantic, angryscared he says you shut the hell up! and Lodz says, low in his throat, alone.

You shut it, Ben says, tries to breathe, tries to pull away, or I swear to God I'll shut it for you. Finally he's loose, pulls outta Lodz's grip and paces, back and forth, heart goin' like a fuckin' jackhammer and Lodz is growling now, sounds like a bear (like the bear he dreams), of course you survived it.

Ben's breath catches, hard, and the storm rages and it's loud too loud too goddamn loud and Lodz is still speaking growling saying

The ceaseless howling, too loud too loud

the high pitched shriek of wind, too loud too loud too loud

the sound of her death, too loud TOO LOUD and it is too much too loud too MUCH and Ben screams without knowing that he is screaming and he is screaming make it stop!
you filth! stay away!
stop
you're marked by the beast, boy!
it
touched her and made her to walk
NOW
the magician, reversed - you have a great talent or ability
and it stops.

Ben realizes he ain't hearin' it at the same time Lodz breathes out hard, laughs, says open the door. Hardly believing, Ben does so, and the sky is blue and cloudless and there ain't no dust, no black blizzard, just the crumpled shape of the lamb in the distance.

You did that, Lodz says, and Ben still lookin', still disbelievin' 'cause it can't be true, says no.

And the storm
it's been wasted, unfulfilled - a gift you've hidden from others
ERUPTS once more and Ben screams, screams and screams and the dust goes down his throat and covers him coats him embraces him and he lurches back tryin' to shut the door-